


Suffocating Sunshine

by haiq_trash_queen



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Romance, Gen, Haikyuu - Freeform, Hinata Shouyou is Sunshine, Hinata Shouyou is a Good Friend, How Do I Tag, Hurt Hinata Shouyou, Loss of Identity, M/M, Oneshot, Other, Sad and Happy, Season/Series 04, hints at ship, not that much shiping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2020-01-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:54:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22243678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haiq_trash_queen/pseuds/haiq_trash_queen
Summary: (Takes place after Season 4 Episode 1):Hinata sneaked into the Miyagi prefecture volleyball camp uninvited. As so he's allowed to stay as only the demeaning ball boy for the others players. Ridiculed, underestimated and all alone with his own devices and struggles. How can the sun shine when all around his clouds from to suffocate him?
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou & Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou & Tsukishima Kei, Hinata Shouyou/Tsukishima Kei
Comments: 5
Kudos: 126





	Suffocating Sunshine

It burned. His pride dismantled inside him as he bit the inside of his cheek, eyes widen and pain ever so evident on his face. Hinata’s hands balled up in a fist as he announced the words that left his mouth.

Burning his tongue at every syllable, “Hinata Shouyou and I’ll be the ball boy!”

He ignored the kind assistant who hid his laugh and he made intent eye contact with his own personal demon, the coach at Shirtaztowa. His white hair, wide eyes with bags underneath staring intently at his brown eyes.This man, Hinata knew would make his life a living hell. The proposition was meant to sting, and did it. Hinata felt he was left scarred as the other players gaze looked at him, some with confusion and others with pity. But he would not crumble, Hinata knew this. 

He **_had_ ** to get stronger. It wasn’t an option or a privilege. It was a need for him, the basic survival skills to remain on the court and to beat Kageyama. 

Everyone was running and Hinata couldn’t catch up. Not in recieves, tossing, or serving. Jumping his one safe heaven, his _thing_. No longer seem to be set in stone in him as Kageyama warranted to jump higher than him. That burned. 

_Survival, just think of that and ignore the pain._

  
  


* * *

The assistant coach gave Hinata a small area to sleep in, some blankets and a pillow.

“Thank you” he smiled. 

An like that Hinata was alone in his room. But he pressed his back to the wall as he laid down his area, he heard the muttering of the other players. 

All sharing a room, the voices intermingled and danced around even Tsukishima.

Hinata looked around, his room felt too big and yet still managed to suffocate him. 

* * *

“Nice Serve!” 

Hinata entered the gym, his heart pounding and eyes wide like always. The sounds of volleyball hitting the floor and the squeaking of sneakers. Hinata saw a ball being spiked and others, Tsukishima along blocking the ball. 

He unconsciously walked over to the net, his legs taking him before his brain even caught on until a firm hand landed on his shoulder. 

“Over here Ball Boy”, The coach said, his old voice was gruff and held no kindness.

Hinata’s ludicrous gaze crumbled before him as reality stabbed his pride yet again. He nodded as he bit the inside of his cheek, the head coach teasingly passing him over to the assistant coach.

“Take him to the storage room to get the crate and the equipment”

The assistant coach looked at Hinata for a while and nodded, “Yes sir.”

Hinata followed the glass eyes fellow and he looked at Hinata as he opened the storage, ” So I’ll give you an extra pair of keys and everyday before practice you come here and get the things.”

Hinata nodded as he felt the cold metal of the cart as he rolled it onto the court. His palm longing for the warmth textile of the ball.

He clenched his teeth.

* * *

“Over here Ball boy” the tone was patronizing and the laughs that followed were deafening. Hinata just looked down as he threw the ball toward the unknown setter.  
  
He heard Tsukishima’s snicker for a moment. But Hinata knew he didn’t mean it like they did or maybe he did?

 _Shut up!_ He thought to himself. 

  
Survival, ignore the pain of the deafening whispers and burning gazes. Hinata rolled around with the cart as he looked at the players serve and play. Trying to decode the information in front of him.  
  
As his body and soul hummed with anticipation.

* * *

"The ball, get the ball!"

Ther rowdy screams dug themselves into his brain, the ball kept slipping and falling on to the floor. His grasp as strong as a infants, the snickering louder and louder. The coach's gaze looking fevertly into him eyes slanted Hinata's brain gave birth to a horrid idea, _I want to die._

The ball fell from his hands again, the coach walked over and scolded him, "You expect to be a spiker if you can't even hold a ball? You beating Ushijima was _clearly_ a fluke," He snatched the ball from the floor. 

Hinata's eyes wanted to sting but he began to breathe, as he felt the emotion get stuck in his chest as he pushed it lower and lower. 

Survive.

* * *

"The ball boy is so _useless and annoying_! Like how can you not know how to pick up a ball!"

"Ugh! I know right! Did you see when I spiked nad it hit him in the face! I tried so hard to not bust out laughing!"

Hinata's ears burned and part of him waited for Tsukishima to say something, _anything_

Nothing came instead. 

* * *

Hinata woke up late today, his eyes reddish he ran to the bathroom to wash his face. 

There when he entered the gym, the players were lined up and there faces grim. Hinata's anxiety shot up, _were they that mad he woke up late?_

Well his question was aswered in that instant as the coach's heavy hand dug into his shoulder, his usual dead glare more livley with hatred.

"Boy, do you have the keys to the storage?"

Hinata nodded, "Y-Yes!"

The coach looked at the Assistant, "See? I told you, it was him." Hinata looked confused at the crowd and Tsukishima was ignoring his gaze, his face deadpanned. 

"Leave kid." The coach said. 

Hinata's eyes widened, "W-Wait Why?"

The coach glared at him more and his eyes slanted more and more, his voice was loud and gruff now, " _You_ know why, stop pretending! Leave before I call the police!"

"P-Police!"

The Assistant shuffled Hinata to outside and before he shut the door on him he muttred a small, "Sorry."

* * *

Hinata wa packing his suitcase, as his mind wandered he had no money nor a place to stay how was he to get home? 

He sighed as Tsukishima came around the curve as he just stared at him.

"W-What do you want Tsukishima!"

"I told you not to come, I told you and look what happened."

Hinata's anger rose slightly, "I don't _know_ what hapened thats the problem!"

Tsukishima looked at Hinata and sighed, "Your either the smartest theif or the dumbest."

Hinata's face was drained of color. Theif? One foot infron of the other he walked to Tsukishima, his gaze holding the blond's, his voice cracked as he spoke, "Y-You think I did something like that?"

Tsukishima said nothing for a while until he just grabbed his track suit and looked away, "Its the most rational thought process, a volleyball autographed by a famous player disappears and your the only one with the keys-"  
  
"Screw the thought process I'm your _teammate!"_

_An Hinata walked away, suitcase in hand into the street._

* * *

Hinata was crying in a dirty Mcdonalds bathroom. His knees tucked to hic chest as the cries became worrying to even the homeless man outside. His breath was shallow and he didn't know were the tears ended and he began. 

His thoughts were beyond poisoinous, _I give up, nothing matters, I don't care. I can't breath, fuck this. I just want to die. I'm a horrible person I deserve nothing but this pain i am disgusting and no one cares about me kill me please.If i was good at volleyball maybe someone would care. An guess what even with that no one cares, no ones gonna help you stop being so pathetic. I hate you, and you hate me. Lets just quit please........ I know your tired, a bullet through our brain will solve all the weight on our shoulders. We won't ever be as good as Kageyama, we aren't blessed like Asahi with height. **Just give up.**_

* * *

Hinata had been "homeless" for a day now. He washed his face on a public water fountain and slept outside when it was warm enough. His whole day was sent sleeping and looking at maps as a way to get home. He was looking deeply at a map when his phone rang, Kageyama.

"Hello...."

"You dumbass! Suga-san told me you went to the Miyagi training camp, you snuck it?"

Hinata's nails dugged into his skin, "Yeah."

"Do you like it? Who's there? Wha-"

"I gotta go Kageyama see ya!"

"W-Wai" but Hinata did not wait. He clicked off his phone and saw the small rpecentage of battery left, 12%.

Hinata walked around, unnoticed. 

* * *

It shouldn't have happened, but it did. Hinata should've gone back and inform them. But nope, he had to get stabbed didn't he?

* * *

_Hinata's eyes widened as he saw the signed volleyball at the hands of a sketchy pawn shop. He looked at the glass asnd his hands were pressed on it. Before even thinking he entered and saw the pawn shop owner smoking._

_"T-The volleyball how much?!"_

_The ownere sighed as he looked at it, "$3,000"_

_"W-What?"  
_

_The owner glared, "Ya heard the price, now pay up or leave!"_

_"H-How did you even get it?!"_

_The owner stood up from his desk, he was bigger than Hinata. Nearing his 30s, "What do you care kid? Your gona snitch me out or are you a cop?"_

_Hinata began to sputter, "W-Wai"_

_He didn't finish his sentance, the cold metal slid inside his stomach. Hinata groaned and adrelanine began to kick in. He jumped away from the knife and held his wound as he bolted to the volleyball, grabbed it and ran._

* * *

Now here he was bleeding, holding the ball and his pants loud and evident. Hinata grabbed his phone, 9% left he managed to dial, "Tsukishima, found volleyball near Takoyaki place, bleeding-"

It all went dark. 

* * *

"What do you mean HINATA WAS STABBED! Why was he on that side of the town! Why wasn't he in the camp!!" Suga spoke frantically as Karasuno's volleyball team heard the commotion. 

"Stabbed!!" screamed everyone else.

* * *

Hinata's eyes widened a he looked around. There was a small bandage around his waist and he stood up as sharp pain shot through him, "Ouch!"

"Careful kid, the wounds not that deep but if you keep moving it will be."

Hinata's eyes widened as he saw the heas coach at shirtazowa walk over to him concern over him.   
  
Hinata looked around, "H-How am I here!" the realization hit, "W-Wait wheres the ball!"

"We got it don't worry" Tsukishima came in, "An you got here because of the phone call you dialed at me."

Hinata flatered, "O-Oh kay"

Tsukishima glared at the coach, "I _told_ you he didn't steal it now if you don't mind I'd like to spen time with _my teammate."_

The coach nodded as he walked away.

* * *

"T-Teammate?" Hinata balttered. 

"Yes you idiot, I had to deny that before because the others were listening and if i didn't they'd suspect _both_ of us." Tsukishima sat down near Hinata. 

"Your okay right?" he asked, his tone gentler than Hinata had ever heard.

"Y-Y _eah"_ Hinata's ears felt warm. 

Tsukishima sighed, as he scolded him, "You scared me! Stupid! Stupid! How do you think that phone call made me feel!"

Hinata winced, "I'm sorry! I-"

"Your so stupid, you shouldn't have rights!"

"H-Hey Wait!"

* * *

Hinata was allowed back into the camp and never left his side.   
  
"Really its annoying! You can leave me-"

"Am i emberassing you?" Tsukishima sneered as he encaged him with his arms, "Huh? You wouldn't mind if it was the King now would you?"

Hinata turned bright red, "W-What?! Shup up Tsukishima!"

Hinata walked off and Tsukishima smiled. 

* * *

"OH MY GOD YOUR OKAY, YOU SCARED US!" Suga screamed through the phone. Hinata laughed akwardly.

"I-I know I'm sorry...."

"Its fine, as long as your fine!"

* * *

"Theres my favorite ball boy" Tsukishima put a hand on Hinata's shoulder and let it fall down to tracing his back. 

Hinata turned bright red and the other players stared curiously and intently, "T-Tsukishima!"

Tsukishima snickered but he pulled Hinata into a side embraces and looked at the other players with a glare that went unnoticed by Hinata. 

"Your a better volleyball player than ball boy"

Hinata unstuck himself from the tall boy and smiled, "Gwah! You think so! WOW!"

Tsukishima rolled his eyes, "Don't let it get to your head!"


End file.
